How to survive a long-distance relationship during the holidays

DON'T imagine your significant other drinking way too much wine and champagne and laying a big wet one on the only single girl/guy at the New Year's Eve party.

DON'T get upset when your hunny didn't call at midnight his/her time the way you all had agreed you were going to do the day before.

DON'T send him/her a sarcastic text message saying how he/she must have been too busy to call you when the New Year rolled in.

DON'T get all paranoid and swear to yourself that you're going to have a blast at your New Years Eve party, not call him/her and make out with a hottie -- because if he's/she's doing what you think he's/she's doing, then you can do it too...only better.

DON'T obsess about the New Year's Party he's/she's attending with all his/her friends and that annoying single woman/man friend you keep hearing about, who you think is on the prowl to snatch away your man/woman.

DON'T let your paranoia consume you and make you write a blog post about surviving a long distance relationship.

So, what you should do is...

DO send him/her sweet text messages that wishes him/her a BONNE ANNEE and tell him/her that you hope he/she is having a great time at his/her New Year's Eve party.

DO trust him/her and enjoy the New Year festivities.

Finally...

DO try to stay calm and not overreact...if you're still obsessing, keep the bottle of champagne very close to you! Just don't drunk dial or answer his phone calls if you're feeling like spilling all your frustrations!!

BONNE ANNEE, HAPPY NEW YEAR AND HAU'OLI MAKAHIKI HOU!!

I'm Googleable!

What a strange feeling it is! I just started a new job in my home state since returning from France and because it is a pretty in-the-public-eye position, I've just become the first listing (and second, and third) on the Google search results after tapping in my full name.

It's scares the bloody boogers out of me! Think about...you meet a guy while hanging out with your friends -- he Googles you! You go for a job interview, they Google you! Nosy high school classmates want to know what you've been up to, they Google you! I don't know if I want even that bit of attention. If you're computer literate and can navigate the Internet search engines well, you can figure out where someone is going to be on Saturday night at 8 p.m. and with whom. Thanks to Google, Myspace, and Facebook you can even deduce what they plan to eat for lunch tomorrow. Seriously, I've done it.

One can find out any amount of information on a person if their names are listed on Google. I know. I do it all the time -- after a date on Friday night, after interviewing someone (during a former job position), and yes, when I get bored, I Google the hell out of my former friends' names.

I Google my boyfriends name every week. Only because I care about his well-being and I don't want his name to be used improperly. I'm not nosy or insecure. Really.

I'm connected! But, change in blog theme

Everywhere!! I have my snazzy t-mobile shadow smartphone conveniently tucked away in my purse or, rather, glued to my hand because I can't miss an email or phone call from my petitescargot; and, I was finally able to hook up a wireless router to the broadband modem set up this morning. Woo-hoo! I'm stoked.

Because I am not in France anymore, I won't be blogging as much about my "French" experience -- obviously ; however, France is and will always be pertinent to my life story. I've left behind a man that makes me feel so comfortable, intelligent and beautiful (hint: that's why we're still together), a caring family of four from Montbrison that taught me everything about what it meant to be French, from the politics to the food, and wonderful memories and experiences that I hoped to incorporate into my life -- a life that must begin anew.

I haven't decided which avenue I want to steer my blog toward: the daily journal of an island girl in a long-distance relationship with a frenchman, living on opposite ends of the world; the difficulties of returning to a life of friends and family that went on without you, or the daily accounts of supernatural occurrences in my house -- for real!

Have you missed me?

I'm back and ready to take on another chapter of my life of total incomprehension, only this time on that tiny dot to the left of that gigantic wall map I know you have in your bedroom. I'm sure all you inquisitive computer junkies are girating in you seats like a bitch in heat because you can't stand the anticipation!

A short update (I'll go into more detail later): I was forced to leave France to avoid finding my tushie in a French prison and I just really wanted to go home to normalize my life. I also missed my sisters and nieces terribly!! My petit escargot and I decided to stay together...so, raise your glasses to long-distance relationships!!

I survived the journey from France to Hawaii without being interrogated by the deportation police! Thank goodness. I was really in shambles the week leading up to my departure date, but gorging on surimi sticks and kebabs helped me through the trying times.

I'm typing on my new T-mobile Shadow Smartphone, so I have to make this short. It takes me about three minutes to tap in an apostrophe -- more rants about this burgeoning love/hate relationship with my brown shadow.

ALOHA!